Distracted Parenting

In this world filled with ironies, it appears Smartphones are creating a new one.  While Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the other social media links are bringing people closer to family and friends all over the country and around the world, they are distancing parents from the people who are right in front of them…their kids.  We now have a new classification:  the distracted parent.  In fact, distracted parenting appears to be on the rise.  And with it comes a rise in child injuries and even deaths.

Cell phones are taking parents’ attention away from their kids, and with it go safe supervision, social interaction, communication and emotional bonding. 

In terms of safety, a recent article in the Wall Street Journal noted that emergency rooms are reporting a recent increase in nonfatal child injuries.  In fact, there has been a 12% increase of nonfatal injuries in children under the age of five based on data from the CDC from 2007-2010.

The distractions from cell phones have been blamed for many a toddler’s injury on the playground, at the pool and even at home.  Near drownings have been reported when caretakers took their eyes off their young charges.  In one case, a toddler sank in the deep end of the pool when his nanny just took her eyes off him for what she reported as being “20 seconds.”  In fact, security cameras showed that she was busy with her phone and hadn’t looked up for three minutes!

And most of us know what that’s like…we get a text and go to read it and then respond.  An announcement that it’s your turn to play “Words with Friends” or someone ‘Liked’ your picture of a hummingbird, or maybe  an alarm beeps to remind you to pick up the essential oils you ordered last week at a party, and on and on and on.  Our entire life can be totally wrapped up in that little box we hardly put down.  But, those “20 seconds” can easily turn into three minutes…three minutes too long to take our eyes off our young kids.  In fact, research has shown that kids engage in more risky behavior when supervision decreases; an even more important reason to keep your eyes on your kids.

As far as social interaction, communication and emotional bonding, a small pilot study released in the journal Pediatrics reports: Distraction by device is very common indeed.

Children who constantly see their parents playing with Smartphones at the dinner table can feel neglected, insecure or not worth your time.  You’re going to miss a lot of those benefits of eating meals together.   Often kids act up to get a parent’s attention away from the phone, but are often swatted away or appeased by the parent handing over the phone so the child can play a game.

And then there’s the disappointment I have seen on a child’s face when she looks over to the sidelines during her soccer game, or at the pool or just doing cartwheels in the yard, “Mommy…did you see that?” only to have her mom look up from her phone with a sheepish look on her face.  Even her mother’s earnest encouragement to, “Do it again and I’ll watch this time,” doesn’t take away the initial hurt.  I’m not judging here either, I’ve been that mom and I’m ashamed.

There has not yet been a comprehensive study on how parents' distraction by digital devices may impact children. But previous research has shown that even newborns are primed to gaze into a mother's eyes seeking social information. This is partly how bonds are formed. Very young children learn about their world largely through face-to-face interactions, vocalizations and touching with parents. They also develop language skills this way.

What messages are we sending our kids?  That the things on our phones are more important than they are?  And…is that really true?  Is the text message you were sending really worth the disappointment registering in your child’s eyes?

Look for something that’s active, engaging, meaningful and interactive. The good news is your schedule really does have room for two minutes of time, five minutes of time to look into our children’s eyes, have the conversation.

What these phones have done is to call our attention to the small screen rather than the present moment.  As parents we are missing so much of our children’s lives, opinions, and aspects of their character.  They are only young once, it’s your job not only to guide them and teach them how to be good people and live a healthy successful life…but also to cherish every moment you have with them before the day comes when they’re not interested in hanging out with you anymore. 

Create a lasting relationship with your child (or your spouse, or your siblings or your friends) by talking one on one with them, looking them in the eyes, actually DOING things together that don’t involve a phone.   Make a pledge to put your phone away and get reattached to people, instead of a device.

Source: Pediatrics, Parenting Today’s Kids

Children and Mental Illness

About 20% of American children suffer from a diagnosable mental illness during a given year, according to the U.S. Surgeon General. Further, nearly 5 million American children and adolescents suffer from a serious mental illness (one that significantly interferes with their day-to-day life).

Which Mental Illnesses Are Most Common in Children?

Children can suffer from the following mental illnesses:

    Anxiety disorders: Children with anxiety disorders respond to certain things or situations with fear and dread, as well as with physical signs of anxiety (nervousness), such as a rapid heartbeat and sweating.

    Disruptive behavior disorders: Children with these disorders tend to defy rules and often are disruptive in structured environments, such as school.

    Pervasive development disorders: Children with these disorders are confused in their thinking and generally have problems understanding the world around them.

    Eating disorders: Eating disorders involve intense emotions and attitudes, as well as unusual behaviors, associated with weight and/or food.

    Elimination disorders: These disorders affect behavior related to the elimination of body wastes (feces and urine).

    Affective (mood) disorders: These disorders involve persistent feelings of sadness and/or rapidly changing moods.

    Schizophrenia : This is a serious disorder that involves distorted perceptions and thoughts.

    Tic disorders : These disorders cause a person to perform repeated, sudden, involuntary and often meaningless movements and sounds, called tics.

What Causes Mental Illness?

The exact cause of most mental illnesses is not known, but research suggests that a combination of factors, including heredity, biology, psychological trauma, and environmental stress, may be involved.

    Heredity (genetics): Mental illness tends to run in families, which means the likelihood to develop a mental disorder may be passed on from parents to their children.

    Biology: Some mental disorders have been linked to special chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters help nerve cells in the brain communicate with each other. If these chemicals are out of balance or not working properly, messages may not make it through the brain correctly, leading to symptoms.  In addition, defects or injury to certain areas of the brain have also been linked to some mental illnesses.

    Psychological trauma: Some mental illnesses may be triggered by psychological trauma, such as severe emotional, physical, or sexual abuse an important early loss, such as the loss of a parent or neglect.

    Environmental stress: Stressful or traumatic events can trigger a mental illness in a person with a vulnerability to a mental disorder.

How Is Mental Illness in Children Diagnosed?

As with adults, mental illnesses in children are diagnosed based on signs and symptoms that suggest a particular disorder. However, this process can be especially challenging with children. Many behaviors seen as symptoms of mental disorders can occur as a normal part of a child's development. Behaviors become symptoms when they occur very often, last a long time, occur at an unusual age or cause significant disruption to the child's and/or family's ability to function.

If symptoms are present, the doctor will begin an evaluation by performing a complete medical history and physical exam. If no physical illness is found, the child may be referred to a child and adolescent psychiatrist or psychologist, mental health professionals who are specially trained to diagnose and treat mental illness in children and teens.

Psychiatrists and psychologists use specially designed interview and assessment tools to evaluate a child for a mental disorder. The doctor bases his or her diagnosis on reports of the child's symptoms and his or her observation of the child's attitude and behavior. The doctor often must rely on reports from the child's parents, teachers, and other adults because children often have trouble explaining their problems or understanding their symptoms.

How Is Mental Illness in Children Treated?

Mental illnesses are like many medical disorders that require ongoing treatment. Although much progress has been made in the treatment of adults with mental disorders, experts are still exploring which treatments work best for which conditions in children. The most common treatment options used include:

    Medication: Many mental illnesses can be effectively treated with medications. The drugs often used to treat mental disorders in children include antipsychotics, antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, stimulants, and mood stabilizing drugs.

    Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy (a type of counseling) addresses the emotional response to mental illness. It is a process in which trained mental health professionals help people deal with their illness, often by talking through strategies for understanding and dealing with their symptoms, thoughts, and behaviors.

  Creative therapies: Certain therapies, such as art therapy or play therapy, may be helpful, especially with young children who may have trouble communicating their thoughts and feelings.

Source: WebMD

Danielle Huston; May Mom of the Month

I have exclusively breastfed Khloe since she was born. We had a bit of trouble at first but I never gave up.

I resorted to using the shield for 3 months and that's when Khloe started to wean herself off the shield.

We were successful and she is now 9 months old. She still nurses several times a day (in between her busy crawling/playtime schedule!)

Breastfeeding helps her calm down for bedtime and ready for the day.